Jan 2012

January

2012

I can't believe its here already. Well, I've already been slacking on my blogging, but hey... the holidays are hectic!(Then add an adorable little baby and you barely have time to shower!)

Well, the good news is, I have been working on other things, besides being a mommy! I have been playing with my camera more and plan to take a class in March with my friend Amanda on how to use the camera to its optimum ability! I can't wait!

Also, Cole and I have started P90X and have been very good about it! The diet has been going well and teaching us how to eat better in general, and thats really what we need. We've been doing the workout everyday and hope to continue. But if I fall off the bus, and eventually work out 3 times a week, I will be very happy with myself! We're going to hawaii in july and I'd like to be at least 20lbs lighter by then, 30 or 40 would be even better though, but thats definitely going to be a stretch.

Ive continued on my scrapbooks, although not much, but continued! To be honest, i kind of wish I never started them because I dont know when the baby scrapbook will ever end now! I think maybe I'll scrapbook her first year, then do photobooks after?? I dont know...ugh.

After 7 months of being a stay at home mom, I'm finally happy and content with that I am doing and how I help this family. I still have my moments of "I am so useless!!" but I have been able to pull myself out of it. Its nice to be reminded that I had such a great support system up here. I am getting closer to a few friends and that really has made such a big difference. It's really made me realize how much I like washington and hope to raise my kids here. Cole has expressed feeling the same way. Although moving back to the bay area in california would be nice, because of family, we know we wouldn't be able to give our kids what we want financially as well as we could here.

Food on Eyse's face....oh and shes in the dog bed

Cole's favortie.... the dyson :)

Holding my sippy cup!

What's new with Elyse? Well shes almost 7 months old! She's sleeping through the night(like 10-11hr) a lot more lately, with less naps in the day. Shes sitting up unsupported, but I dont prefer to leave her alone when shes sitting yet since Im unsure if she will throw herself backwards are bang her head on the floor. She's also showing signs of being interesting in crawling. Sometimes when she is in upward dog(she does tons of yoga poses all the time) she will look down and arc her back and almost get on all fours. Like Cat stretches.... I should take photos of all her yoga moves :D

Settling in

It's my first week back in Issaquah, and it's been nice. So much to do though. Still unpacking since Elyse went through 2 clothing sizes while we were gone, decorate for christmas, more unpacking and getting into a routine with Elyse. First and foremost, I want her to get used to her crib. While in CA she wasn't napping in her crib/pack n play. She was napping in her bouncer chair. Although we broke that habit, I now need her to get used to her crib in her room and not a pack n play. I know it doesn't seem like a big difference, but it is.

Anyways, previously I mentioned some projects I wanted to start. Well, since I've started scrapbooking I've really enjoyed it and am now on a roll :D I still need to get better at being more creative about the pages, but I'll get there.

Well Christmas came a little early this year, (well early as in Black Friday) and I got the camera I wanted to start one of my other projects. Photography. I'm no pro at all and am still learning how to use my camera and what all the features mean, but I'm excited and happy none the less. I want to take pictures of Elyse's first christmas and all her milestones this year. Hopefully I can learn how to use the software too and make the pictures really nice and dreamy too :D

While in CA I was able to use my friend's Digital SLR and setup a little photoshoot for Elyse and this year's christmas card! Since Cole and I are still trying to figure out how and when we'll lose our "pregnancy weight" or for cole "couvade syndrome" we won't be starring in our christmas card this year and instead our sweet pea will be doing the honors :D Heres a little sneak peak!

I've been playing around with the camera just about everyday. (with the most beautiful subject ever!) I am excited to get better at it and hopefully next year I can justify getting another lens or filter.

For something a little more non-baby related. We're going to california for Christmas!!! I know we just went and for a long time, but I'm thrilled to go back and see all my family and friends. I can't get enough. 

Visiting California with Elyse

Two months ago, my mom and aunt came to Seattle. They were here to help out with the baby, visit and also kindly watch the baby while Cole and I enjoyed our anniversary night away. A few days later, they took the baby down to California, via airplane. I was going to meet them the following week, via truck after our friend's, Amanda and Tim's wedding. Cole had to go to Mississippi for work for 2.5 weeks so it made this time a good time for Elyse to meet the rest of her family.

This was her first airplane ride :D

Amanda and Tim's wedding was absolutely beautiful!!! It was also great to have Courtney and her bf Tyler there too. The next day, Courtney, Tyler and myself, drove down to Sacramento. It was soooo good to be reunited with my little one again. We stayed at my mom's house for 2 weeks. In the meantime, Elyse  got to see her all of her extended family. I also got a few nights off from mommyhood to see my friends.

Elyse was completely spoiled and showered with every gift imaginable! SO much clothes(tons that no longer fit) and toys! Although the trip was great to see family, it didn't go by without its problems. Everyone had their own way of doing things and their own advice to give. I just nodded my head and did whatever I was told. I did have the least amount of experience as a mommy and knew I could learn a thing or two. (even though I wanted to do things my way)

One of the main reasons we were in California was for the wedding of my cousin Auny.... or aka Jennie. I was a co-MOH and Elyse was a flower girl. It was sooo beautiful and the weather couldnt have been more perfect!

With Uncle Derek

Elyse met all of her family on my side of the family at Jennie's wedding. I barely saw her as she was being passed from person to person. Everyone giving her their love. It was a great thing to see. 

After the wedding, we were on our way to see more family. Elyse's great grandmother and great grandfather van gundy along with other van gundy family members were waiting in Fresno.

Uncle Kevin

Great Grandma Van Gundy or Nana

4 months old! (10/18/11)

Once we were back from Fresno, we had another trip! Elyse was going to stay with her great grandparents Chavez, while her mom and dad went to New Orleans for Cole's work. Elyse was well taken care of and Cole and I enjoyed one of our favorite cities ever. A vessel cole was working on was being christened and it was a big day. I was so proud of him. 

Nap time with Great gandpa(papa)

First Halloween! I'm a Cupcake!

New Orleans

Streetcar ride in New Orleans

After the christening, Cole had to stay in the south for work and I flew home alone to California. Two more weeks of him being away. But not without a packed schedule of family and friends and visitors. All for Elyse of course. 

Finally, the family was reunited. Cole flew to Sacramento and we got to spend 5 days together before thanksgiving. I dragged him to twilight, we saw friends, we had lunch, it was great :) Thanksgiving was at my Aunt and Uncle's house in Rancho Cordova. It was another perfect Thanksgiving. Korean American fusion and it was SOOO good :) We had turkey, Ham, rice, kimchee, potatoes, shrimp, short ribs, raw crab kimchee, jellyfish(yuck), mussels, gravy, and of course, we ate it with chopsticks :D

Last but not least, we drove all the way back, from Roseville, to Issaquah. It was a 2 day trip. Elyse did great the first 5 hours. Then she lost it. So we were trying to make it to Salem, OR the first day. Well of course, this was a much longer trip because we ran into the civil war football game traffic, all while Elyse was screaming her head off. She was DONE with that car seat. We did eventually make it to Salem, but that was pushing it. There was absolutely no way we would have made it to Seattle. We stayed with Cole's Aunt and then left the next morning. Also... more traffic. Elyse did good for the first 3 hours, then again... she was done. Needless to say, I don't think we'll be driving to california anytime soon. 

The Return of the Blog

So for the last few months, I've been on a bit of a bloggin break. Well, a break from the computer really. If its not easy to use on my iphone, then I haven't been using it. Mostly because I have been really focusing on how to be the best mom and stay at home wife I can be, but also...who am I kidding... I was also focusing on finding time to sleep. So blogging went to the way side.

Well, now I think I'm finally getting in a better sync with Elyse and balancing being a mom and a wife, and now a blogger. Notice, all of these things are easy to do from the house. Getting out of the house on a daily basis is still a struggle since Elyse HATES her car seat. I will take another entry to catch up all the great things that have been going on since my last entry, but first, I want to write down my future goals and projects.

So breifly, I quit my job back in September to be a full time mom and wife. Yes, I relize that many people are able to balance both of those roles and work. Well, it's not that I can't, its just that I don't have to right now. Cole and I are able to manage our budget off of his salary and since I am happy to give being a SAHM(stay at home mom) a try, then I am. On top of that, my position and Cole's both require long hours at work and that is just not what we want for our family.

But being a SAHM isn't just sitting on the couch, eating bon bons all day. It's much more, and more than even I knew. It's getting up at all hours of the night and day, it's diapers, and spit up, and laundry and clothes and food and all at the same time, trying to find time to conserve energy, find sleep, to avoid looking like a troll so that your husband enjoys coming home to you, it's dinner and breakfast and lunch, it's everything that took you five minutes to do before that now takes an hour. There is down time though. For example, right now. Elyse is down for ther afternoon nap and I've finished most of my earrands.

Anyways, going from a working woman to a stay at home mom, I've decided I need to give myself a few projects to keep myself going(as side from the baby). I say "projects" because some of them are goals and some of them are hobbies. So here they are in no partiular order.

1. Work on Myself - this is probably the main project that leads into all the others. Yes being a SAHM, means I'm a mom and my family is my #1 job/priority. But aside from that, I've noticed it's been easy to let myself go and become this blob that all I do is baby baby baby. Well, I want there to be more to me than that. So I am making this list to better myself in the process, ya know...like keep my brain alive and moving and learning. So thats my first project :D

2. Get Healthly - when I say healthy, I mean it realively. Healthy in my way. Not everyone elses. Yes I'll probably start dieting, and I want to look better for myself and my husband, but it has to be my way in my time. So if you see me getting that carmel macchiato, lay off on the judgement. I'm not going to completely deprive myself of these simple pleasures all the time! But eating a little better, making better food choices and starting some kind of work out will be my start. Now I know that with the  holidays coming up, it would be ridiculous to really start dieting now. So come new years, I plan to start it. What is "it"? Well, I want to try P90X and I want to lose my baby weight by Elyse's first birthday. I know its hard and I may not completely succeed on doing the program, but I never know until I try... and so I'm going to try :)

Also, P90X gives me the ablity to workout from home at my own time(elyse's time). Unfortunately, the gym can't baby sit elyse yet so the at home workouts are the best bet.

3. Photography - As my iphone sits there and tells me I have too many photos and videos, I've decided I should make this everyday activity a real hobby. So i've asked santa(cole) very nicely for a canon rebel T3i and we'll see if he comes through :) I have sooo many pictures of Elyse on my phone and wish they were better quality so hopefully I will be able to take better pictures of her soon :D Althought taking a class would be nice, but who will watch my baby while i'm at these classes?? So I hope to find many online tutorials and maybe a few books to learn the basics. Any tips are welcome...

4. Scrapbooking - to go along with the pictures, I'm scrapbooking. I want to scrapbook the first year of Elyse's life. After that, I will print out photos and add to a photoalbum. But this project I have started. Im not so good at being creative with the pages, but I am doing it and proud of it!! I also want to finish my wedding scrapbook... which I have started...but barely.

5. Planting - I am hesitant to call it gardening since I don't have a garden. But my goal is to get 2 planter boxes and put 2 plants in them and keep them alive :) I will have to start off small and see what can survive the Seattle weather.

6. Knitting baby hats - Yes this is a little specific, but since I am the first of most of my friends and family to have a baby, I think making these hats for their up coming babies would be a great thing to do, plus a great baby gift!! I've started this and its really hard so we'll see. If anyone knows how to make these and wants to teach me, I'm definitely willing to learn!

7. Read - I've been reading more in the last few years (thank you girl with the dragon tattoo for getting me started) and I've enjoyed it. So I hope to continue reading more. I don't need the fancy, smarty pants books, just something entertaining :)

Okay so thats all my projects right now. This is already a long/overwhelming list as it is, but hopefully I remember to do these things and can focus on these projects and I make my transition from working woman to SHAM/W. :)

The Story of Elyse - Part Two

Once I was in the OR, I started to shake. It was cold and I was scared. Everything looked so much more serious than the tone of everything back in my room. I saw all the tools and screens and all I could think was to "just take everything a step at a time. The doctor has done this so many times and there was nothing to worry about. I was strong, the baby is strong." So they had me sitting up on the table with my legs hanging over. The anesthesiologist, was preping. I had heard the spinal was going to be the worst part, so I was really scared and nervous of all this "pain" about to come from the spinal. I had asked so many people to make sure Cole could be there for me through the spinal so that I would be okay. They said yes, and probably were wondering why I had even asked.

Everytime the anesthesiologist touched me, I jumped. Not a good sign. I didn't want to jump when he was actually sticking me with a needle! I explained my nerves to everyone. Also, I was worried I would do something stupid like fart. I mean, I was in one of those backless gowns, top of my bare butt open to the poor anesthesiologist. They were about to give me the numbing medicine for the spinal, and I had my doctor, a nurse, (Laura) and Cole all standing in front of me trying to distract me. Then the anesthesiologist warned me that I would feel a pinch and some pressure. Here was the moment.... and it was exactly as he said. It was a pinch and pressure. It was nothing. Getting IV's were much worse in my opinion. Then he again mentioned a little pressure for the spinal, so I clenched and felt a very small amount of pressure. I couldn't believe that was the most "painful" thing.

Once that was over, they had me lay on my back, arms out. They put a wedge under one of my hips, put a curtain up around my breasts and positioned my feet so the bottoms of my feet were touching. From there, the anesthesiologist sprayed something on me to check that the medicine was working. They put in the cathader, which btw was STILL uncomfortable,  I still was nervous it wouldn't take. But my dr reassured me that they wouldn't start unless they knew the spinal had worked. So the curtian is now up and I hear my dr say "can you feel this? I'm pinching you". I felt something, but nothing painful. I figured, maybe shes a light pincher? I later found out from cole that she was pinching me with plyers and if I felt it, I would have probably been screaming.

Also, since I had told my dr to not tell me what was going on, I had no idea what was going on. Cole told me right after the pinching, they sliced me right open. I was so oblivious to it all. From there, I could see Cole peeking over everyonce and awhile but he also kept me in the dark. During the time that they actually had me open, I was thinking they were still preping. I had no idea what it actually looked like to have a C section, thank goodness, and if you don't want to know either, avoid googling it. I made that mistake later on.

Cole was great. I was very nervous and the spinal was actually making me shake a lot. I could feel stuff going on around my stomach but it wasn't specific and it definitely didn't hurt at all. Everything just felt like touching, or tugging or pulling, but not in a painful way. I guess having a little one inside kicking you for a couple months gets you accustomed to that feeling. Cole told me stories of our lives to distract me. It was so helpful. With my memory having become SO terrible with the pregnancy, it was nice to hear stories to remind me of things like little things on our wedding day, past holidays, honeymoon, and the dogs. Then I hear, "you have a beautiful baby girl!"

As happy as I was about it, I tired to not 1. look, or 2. panic. Why would I panic? Well... I didn't hear her crying. It made me really nervous. Cole could see and he was smiling, but when he leaned toward me I said "I don't hear crying. Is she okay?" he reassured me that no one seemed nervous, or panicked or scared. She didn't cry, but the neonatologist was in the room and just standing back looking while the nurses were working on her. Another reason to not worry since he wasn't in there getting his hands dirty. I could barely see the top of her head through all the people. But I knew that I wasn't going anywhere since I was being put back together.

Originally, I was soo scared of the surgery that I asked Cole to stay with me through the WHOLE procedure and to not leave when the baby did. But once the baby was out, I told him to go ahead and go with Elyse. I was okay and we both wanted to know what was going on. They took Elyse to the NICU and Cole went with them. I was a little nervous (again) after Cole left because I then remembered that the longest part was them sewing me up, and I just let my main distraction walk out the door!! I guess I had to listen to the drs now. Thankfully they weren't talking about what was going on AT ALL! They were talking about the UW basketball team. Whew! Although I couldn't pitch in on the conversation because I didn't know much about the UW team, it was nice to be distracted anyways. Cole came back for the end and told me about our new little addition and how she was doing. I felt calm after Cole had updated me.

Once they were done, The curtain came down and I was rolled over to my room. As I had mentioned before, I haven't had surgery and was pretty impressed by everything. They had something under me that inflated and then moved me from the table to a bed, then that bed to my bed. They got me all settled, my dr came in to talk to me about how well the surgery went and some side effects I would feel with the medication. After what felt like an eternity, Cole came to the room and showed me pictures of Elyse. Then he was gone again!

I was so jealous that Cole was able to move around and see her. I felt completely fine (thank you meds) and wanted to jump out of bed and go, but I guess not being able to feel the bottom half of my body changes things. He came back to finally let me know that Elyse's transportation was here and they would bring her by really quick for me to see her before she was off. When I finally did see her, I was shocked. She was so small and I couldn't believe she had just come out of me. That my body (with Cole's help) was able to make something so amazing! Thats all the time I got before she had to leave though.

The whole experience was so surreal. After being in that room and that bed for 3 weeks pregnant, then returning and no longer having her there was just strange. I missed her already and was still in shock from everything. Needless to say, I did okay emotionally. Waiting to get out and see her, and finally being able to. I didn't break down a lot or cry too much. I was forewarned, and I knew what was coming and that all the decisions made were for her best interest. Those thoughts were calming.

So the night of June 18th 2011, Elyse Suni Van Gundy was born. She was 4lbs 13oz, and 18 3/4 inches long. She was born in Bellevue, Washington and transferred to UW Hospital in Seattle. After 2 weeks in the NICU, she was able to come home, where she is now :) Being loved

PS. Lastly, the most common question asked about the surgery has been "what was the most painful part?" To be honest, the most painful part was that after the cathader came out, and I had to pee for the first time without it, it was SOOOOO painful. I was upset that I wasn;t warned about this pain at all!!!

The Story of Elyse - Part One

So she's arrived!

Here's a little about how it went down and how shes been doing. Last I blogged, I was in the hospital, on bedrest. Busniess as usual, I was still on bedrest, the morning of Saturday June 18th. Felt a little drained and weak, but I assumed the effects of being in bed for three weeks were finally getting to me. My Dr came in and asked how I was as usual. I told her I felt fine, still leaking AF, and the only thing different was sometimes when I had to change my pad of AF, it was a little pink. The Dr said that was normal and if it continued to happen to let her know.

So about an hour later, I went downhill. I was starting to really feel sick and achy. Cole usually spends the morning with me on saturdays, then goes and run errands for the coming week, then comes back and spends the rest of the day with me. (yes, he's a very loving husband) So on this particular Saturday, he needed to go home, do laundry and get his hair cut. Just before he left the hospital, he knew I was starting to not feel well, and told me to let him know if there was anything I wanted. I just let him know I'd call him and let him know how I was doing. 

Once he left, I was still pretty miserable. The nurse came in to check on me, and I let her know how I was feeling and that I wasn't feeling great and it was getting worse. She told me that could be an infection, either with myself or the baby and that she needed to let my Dr know. I honestly didn't realize it could be effecting the baby since I had been sick a handful of times throughout my pregnancy, but I was glad the nurse was telling me and keeping me in the loop. After she had told the Dr, and I was put on an IV and NPO. I forgot what NPO stands for, but I know it meant I couldn't have any food or any drinks, not even water. This was a sign that they were thinking surgery.

The Dr comes to talk to me, and she does an exam. As suspected, the pinkish color in my pads was from dilating. There wasnt much, but I was about 1.5cm dilated and it would continue. My contractions were getting stronger (oh... did I mention I was having mild contractions throughout my whole bedrest?), there was no AF left, baby was breeched (definite c section), and my blood test came back saying I had an infection. Unfortunatley, the blood test can't tell us if it is just a cold for me, or if I was sick because of an infection in my uterus. So, knowing all this, it was best to have the c section that day.

Although my emotions have been up and down during the pregnancy, I felt that I would cry and the craziest things and have a heart of ice on others. This was one of those times I decided to cry. Nothing was really sad about the situation though. We were prepared that the baby would be early and in NICU, and we knew that everything that was being done was in the best interest of the baby.

But I felt like crying. I knew I needed to get it together and call Cole and let him know. But first, to get ahold of myself so that he didn't get freaked out by my crying. So I collected myself and called him. Once he said "Hey babe" on the phone, I did everything I could to fight back the crying, which came out as a shaky voice, which I am sure was WAY worse. Soo I let him know everything and that his little girl was coming today. He left the house so fast. He was a little sad I didnt tell him earlier that I was feeling worse and so he could have skipped a few errands to be there when the Dr was.

Once he got there, he too had to calm down and collect himself. He also had to tell our family about the change in plans....we waited a few hours before we did so that we knew as much info as possible. (and because we wanted to relax and not have our phones ring and beep like crazy) I have never had surgery before so this was a big deal in my mind. I wasn't sure if I had a high tolerance for pain or if I would pass out. I didn't really know what to expect as far as how "I would feel" throughout the process. Would I feel it? Would I not? Will I be dizzy? What kind of pain will I be in? Will I hear the baby scream? Will I get to see her? Will she be okay? Will Cole be able to be with me during the spinal? So many things were rushing in my mind and I know that no one could really answer those questions for me.

What I did know was that my c section would be around 7pm or 730pm, Cole could be there the whole way, I didn't want to know what was going on and when, I knew I would feel touching and pressure, and I knew my nurses pretty well for being there 3 weeks. I was extremely comfortable and confident in my Dr and even thought to myself that she was so extremely nice and I was so lucky to have a doctor that was so comforting. I knew that my baby would be named Elyse and I would soon be a mother.

As the time drew closer to when I was going to go into the OR, we were trying to stay calm and not let the nerves and excitment take over. We knew it was a busy day in Labor and Delivery but we really didn't think the most of it. Then our nurse told us some bad news. Due to the amount of recent pre term deliveries that day and the previous days, that they didn't have enough staffing to cover Elyse over the night. They would want her to have a nurse 1 on 1 if she has trouble breathing. So if she comes out with some trouble breathing, they will stablize her and then transport her to University of Washington Hospital. But if she comes out fine, then they would be able to leave her at Overlake. Unfortunately, they felt the chances of her staying at Overlake were slim and wanted us to be prepared.

This is when my emotions when to the ice hearted side. There was nothing I could do, and they were making the decisions based on Elyse's well being. So I signed the papers knowing I wouldn't get to be with my child for a few days after she was born. It should have been an extremely emotional and heartbreaking moment...which it was. But I was unable to so that. All I could think was "make sure she's okay!!! I just want her to be okay".

Finally, the time came. Cole was given his "dad suit", and I was given a gown and cap, moved to a wheelchair and brought into the OR. Never in my life had I been in one before and all I could think was "I'm coming out of this room without my baby, but still a mother".

The last few weeks....

So, after reading this you'll think... "why didn't she write this eariler?" Well, I just knew it would be a long story and was still getting used to typing on my netbook. Warning, everything is TMI but it is how it is...

On Friday, May 27th after work, I noticed I felt a "leaking" feeling. Almost like I had lost muscle control and was peeing. It was so awkward! So I rushed to the bathroom leaking on my way there. Then I thought to myself "well, maybe this is just a random pregnancy thing. I'm 29 weeks pregnant!". Then it would happen every 20 min afterward. Before this started, I was feeling a little neasuaed, so I took some medicine that will help and also make you sleepy. So, I was constantly leaking/peeing and super tired... I put down 5 towels and laid down to sleep. Getting up constantly running to the bathroom all night. I was so tired, I kept telling myself "I'll call the doctor in a few minutes...". Cole was also working overtime all week and exhausted, so he also didnt think anything of it and wanted to sleep, just like I did. So finally, 730am on saturday morning comes around and im rushing to the bathroom again. Cole wakes up and I tell him, I don't think its pee, but i dont know whats going on. So he pulls out his "emergency numbers" card we got from our hospital tour.

On the card it says "if you are experiencing leaking or a gush of water, call your doctor immediately". whoops....

So Cole calls the doctor and the doctor says she will call labor and delivery and we should head there right away. So we bring our few dry towels left from the night and a few wash rags since I had no pads in the house at all, and head to the hospital. This is memorial day weekend and we were planning on heading to Idaho to visit Cole's family later that day. On the way to the hospital, we're still thinking that its probably something that could be a "quick fix".

I wasn't in pain or anything, just leaking a ton of liquid! So we get to the hospital and get checked in and they bring me to the oasis. Once in there, we explain the situation to the nurse and she tells me to change into the hospital's mesh panites and a huge pad.  As the nurse helps me change and Cole is holding me up, guess what....it had been 20min and I leaked all over the nurse. She was confident in telling me that my water broke.

I moved straight from the oasis to a post pardum room. There they did a few other tests, started an IV, ultrasound and many other uncomfortable tasks...They basically told me they were going to try to prevent me from going into labor for at least 2 days so that the steriod they had given me would help the baby mature her lungs.This is when it set in for Cole and I that we were no longer going to Idaho.

They put me on a few antibiotics to help avoid infection, Magnesium to help avoid labor, and a ton of pads. We saw a perinatologist along with an OB from my OB's practice. They told me that women who rupture their membrane, (aka break their water) about 75% go into labor with in a week.

Well, its now June 16th and I am still in the hospital on bedrest. On saturday, I will have been here for 3weeks. Its been tough to get used to and also knowing how this was not in the plans. But I take everyday as it comes and know that my baby will be here someday and the more I stay, the better for her. At this point, She has lost most of her amniotic fluid but sitll has a solid heart beat. As if the lack of fluid isn't bothering her. She was 3lbs 7oz when we came in in May, and is now 4lbs 4oz. So the time here has helped her. Unfortunately, within that time, she has decided to flip over and is now breeched. So she earned herself a c section. Also, not in the plan.

I weight the pros and cons in my head about the c section, even though there isnt a choice in the matter now. Having major surgery scares me but I know that there isnt a way around it now! So the game plan is if the baby decides shes not happy in my belly, they will go get her. But if she seems fine, they will wait till July 1st to deliver. I have an appt on July 1st at 4pm to have the c section. So we'll see!!


With all this bedrest I have had a hard time. My butt is always numb, I've been leaking non-stop, and they dont encourage me to walk around. Needless to say, I've seen the outside of my room twice since ive been here. Its been very tough mentally to be so confined, but I remind myself that its not about me now.